Wednesday, August 31, 2011

G as in Guilt

Most social network users have several hundred friends, contacts, connections, followers, and probably that or more email addresses that they communicate with every day.  So why would any ONE person believe that comments, posts, tweets, etc. published unless directly sent to them, are about them?   

My sister told me that she has received messages/posts from a person who is connected to her via other friends/followers, etc., and this person believes my sister's posts and tweets are about and directed at her.  Why would this person think this way?  Out of the hundreds of other people associated with my sister, not just on these social networks, but in my sister's circle of family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances, why would these posts/tweets/messages be about ONE person?  And, out of the thousands of activities, topics, issues, events that happen throughout a day that typically cause a post/tweet/message, how can this person believe so singularly?  Now, we’ve all posted things that may be directed at, about, or involve a person, situation or issue…but to believe that “you” are the brunt of the majority of posts/tweets/messages is insane.  It is absolutely absurd...and, in addition to being incredibly self-absorbed, I believe it's a pretty easy explanation...

 ...GUILT!  It is apparent to me that this person is guilty of doing exactly what my sister is being accused of...this person is obviously guilty of the actions she thinks are directed at her…being nosy, spreading rumors, talking about someone, negatively judging, and/or publishing posts/tweets/comments about others, and probably my sister, most likely.  Those that are quick to make these judgements, are usually participating in that same or worse behavior.  Now, I'm not saying my sister is a saint, or any of us for that matter, as we have all taken part in some sort of gossip, rumor spreading, assumptions, and judgements...we are all human, but it is rare that posts/tweets/comments published on social platforms everyday are consistently about one person from your "list"...Any person that believes so is obviously insecure, possibly a little paranoid, and could also have other issues such as being untrustworthy, dishonest and disloyal themselves...because this person is regularly participating in this kind of behavior.  I’ve run across these types before, the first ones to cry fowl, are also the first ones to be leery of…everything is about them, everything revolves around them, and everyone should be in awe of them…never sees fault in their actions, but is the first to point out the faults of others.  

So my sister asked me if I thought she should lock down or even close down her FB or other social networks because of the situation with this person.  Absolutely NOT!   Do not allow the issues this person possesses to be projected onto you…you have done nothing wrong or to feel guilty about…this is not your problem, it is their problem.  They have other, bigger issues than FB posts, tweets and messages that they perceive to be about them…don't let the insecurities and paranoia of another person cause you to react.   I had this boss (which I hated by the way) years ago that used to say, “Perception is reality”…BAH! No, in my world and in actuality, Reality is Reality…people with issues use this as an excuse.  I can’t control your perceptions and cannot dissuade you from believing what you want to believe if you are always right and everyone else is always wrong.  People that know me, know my sister, don't have any issues with our's those that think they know, consider themselves the authority or are so self-absorbed, that they are the only ones that matter, have an opinion and should be viewed by others as such.  So, at the end of the day, if you feel that comments/post/messages are always about you, then you are most likely guilty of something that is making you perceive it that way…it is not reality.  It is GUILT. 

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