Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A Writer's Confession

Well, I have a confession to make.  It's not one that will matter to most I believe, but it is still something that I feel I need to share. 

Before I started to blog, I used to write a journal.  Random thoughts and topics that ranged from simple daily events or conversations, like a funny outfit someone was wearing or a bad driver, to more serious topics that involved situations I was subjected to or part of during a time period, like a personal identity theft case and a boss that stole money from vendors, business, etc.  I used this journal writing as a way to exercise my brain, vent my frustrations and anger, and as a way to remember something I feared I might forget later in life.  And, as I wrote, I found that expressing some topics were not only helpful to me, but to others when I would share a note or make conversation about how I was coping with certain issues, concerns, etc...and even with the happier stories I would share that were pure comedy in some we know laughter is the best medicine.  So, when blogging became a more widely used and accepted practice by amateur writers, I was encouraged to share my journal writings and experiences via a blog of my own.  

So, my confession is that some of my posts are not truly recent.  Since it took me two years to actually start a blog, my writings up to this past week are dated.  I know, I know, whats the big deal-right?  Well, for me its more about just being completely honest and open about the topics.  A lot of my posts are a couple of years old and are just writings I shared to see if this blog thing was really for me...I was in a really dark place between 2006 and 2010 with the identity theft case I was trying to overcome--yes, a so-called friend stole thousands and thousands of dollars from me and even though that seems to be a horrible experience, the actual experience of trying to prove it, resolve it and clear it up with the banks, the credit card companies, as well as the financial burden of the legal process itself, was the absolute worst thing I have ever gone through...banks and credit card companies are EVIL and the legal system is truly screwed up...guilty until proven innocent unless you are the criminal, then you are innocent until proven is unbelievably crazy!--so a very dark place in deed, as well as watching friends losing jobs left and right, while I was working for an evil bastard, fearful that my reputation would be tarnished or I would even lose my job because I wouldn't participate in the criminal behavior--was all on top of that.  I tried very hard to not let this darkness consume me and the one key way to work it out was to write about get it out of my system somehow...I didn't want to constantly burden my family and friends talking about it, so I just starting writing in journals...and it helped.   

So, these stories, experiences, topics are what I used to make my first few posts on this blog...I wasn't sure how to blog, what to blog, or even if blogging was for I pulled stories and details from my past that I knew I could use and get experience on this new way of communicating/writing in a more public forum.  And, also, since I have been speaking with a publisher about the identity theft case and the potential for using that as the foundation of a book, I wanted to see if I could gain any momentum or additional experience writing where it could be more quickly judged.  So, the book is another reason I wanted to be clear...I really am sensitive to the perception of deceiving, and I wouldn't want anyone to think that's what I was doing.   So that's my confession...I feel that I needed to come clean about it.  I felt that I wasn't being upfront and honest and am also trying to move on from the past.   And, now that I'm getting the hang of this blogging and social networking thing, I have been doing better lately...I've been using more recent/current topics that I have a true joy, interest or passion about--like fashion, or networking/socializing, sports, even helping friends find jobs, etc. to write about and am finding additional inspiration from other bloggers and online writers.  

I'm truly enjoying writing my blog and even though I don't get to it as often as I would like, I promise that I will write about current happenings or topics, or if I pull a story from my journal, I will certainly make note of its history.  

Thanks for reading!

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