Sunday, October 2, 2011


Trust is a word that is used daily, but is rarely practiced.  If you do not give trust, you cannot receive trust.  Not to mention, constantly being suspicious of people is no way to live.

I know, I know, it is said that trust has to be earned...but that's not necessarily true.  Trust, as defined by Websters, is actually an automatic human expectation...not an emotion, even though the majority of the time it is influenced heavily by is first and foremost an expectation.  This is why when trust is lost, it causes us to feel numerous things -- anger, frustration, depression, grief, revenge -- and it takes a great deal of time to overcome the "mistrust".  Primarily because it requires forgiveness...which is an extremely difficult thing to do.  But trust cannot be given if you don't allow it to be received.  What I mean by this is that you must be a trustworthy person in order to trust others.   And you can't project your lack of trustworthiness onto others either.  To truly mistrust or lose trust in someone, they must have done something to cause it.  It should not be subjected to assumptions, presumptions, hear say and paranoia. 

I recently lost trust in someone because of betrayal and another because if lying.  The betrayer, I call Judas, actually shared some personal information with the liar, I'll call Delilah, but the details Judas provided were not an accurate portrayal of the situation as Judas didn't really know the whole story because I had kept some details private.  So when Judas shared the information, it was lacking key facts, details, etc.  I thought this person was a good friend, confidant, as well as a professional.  Apparently, not.  Now my keeping some details private is how I then found out and learned that the information had been shared with Delilah.  When Delilah, in a smug, self-serving attempt to "catch me" off-guard, actually stated that she found out the information from a completely difference source...therefore implicating an innocent person in their little web, I knew what had happened.  As soon as Delilah named her so-called source, I knew immediately that she was not telling the truth (afterwards I actually called the source that was named to confirm that they indeed never had a conversation with anyone about the situation--this person's position requires the utmost confidentiality and any breach reported would have resulted in immediate dismissal by both parties), and then as Delilah proceeded to divulge the information she had I knew then who had actually betrayed me.  For what purposes I am still uncertain...there was no means to the end other than sharing information that they thought would hurt someone...and why is still a mystery.  I don't understand where either gained anything...I didn't do anything wrong...I didn't hurt or harm anyone, especially them...I didn't betray or lie...I didn't hide anything from anyone, as this was my private affairs and no-one's business to share and judge...I was in a situation where I simply was asking advice from a "friend" thinking that this "friend" would give honest counsel and guidance...and that friend divulged those details to someone else.  The funny thing is that Judas has always stated his own lack of trust and tolerance for Delilah...making statements on numerous occasions, that he believes Delilah to be a pretentious, arrogant, self-absorbed and self-important person...and yet, I NEVER shared this with anyone.  I guess I should have realized that by making those comments about Delilah, that Juda was probably not to be trusted...but, like I said, trust is a personal expectation that is usually crushed or lost by an unacceptable action.  I am puzzled by the betrayal...and the lies...what was to be gained by this...I just don't get it.  I don't know how they sleep at night...and I say this not because of this one instance, but because I have found that it is a regular form of behavior for them...this is why they are untrustworthy and therefore, cannot trust others.  They are projecting their own issues onto others.  And, for no reason other than maybe to justify themselves.  It's a shame.  They can never know the joy and freedom of real trust and loyalty and the so many other benefits that come with it. 

Trust is an expectation. If you are able to be trusted, then you can easily trust...its a much easier way to live. 

Thanks for reading!

No comments:

Post a Comment